The basic fact of the matter was that this blog had bits and bobs and a few words and threads that related to a life long past. I knew it was one of those things, one of those places, I had to go to "purge" some of the old without sacrificing some of the good history. I didn't want it to read the way it once had, but I did want the references to small children and small hands and little girls with big hearts and big learning disabilities to remain.
So I came this morning, because I will be showing this blog as an example of my fine writing (modest, me, eh?). I came to "clean it out". To purge.
And really, one example of how much things had already changed in my personal life since the advent of this place for me (ie in the last 5 years), is that I didn't have to take too much out. Just a bit.
Just some references of a far-away, long-gone seemingly domestic life that the person that shares my life now might not want under his nose.
This is that wonderful person:
This is Mark, and we're getting married, in case you didn't know. We met almost three years ago thanks to our moms, and were instantly wonderful and supportive friends. We each were already in the midst of big changes, so we gave each other a strong hand and kind words to get through it. And at the end of it, we looked at each other and said "I believe we've fallen in love."
Mature love is something wonderful and grand, and yet brave at the same time.
You have to get past each others' "pasts". You have to knock images that float to you at stupid and obscure times out of your head and sternly forbid them from returning (which they often do, damn dark thoughts!). You have to trust more than you ever thought possible. We've been hurt. And we've done some hurting. So can we be each others' everything and always & forevers?
Mark proposed to me in a place that has always been special to us. Each for our own reasons, and as a couple as well. He got down on one knee and he promised to always love me, if I would let him always love me. I said yes, and promised the same back to him. I cried. He got a thumbs up from a man passing by. We laughed through tears. We need this love. We've needed it forever.
Now the wedding looms. Less than 5 months away. I am so excited. For the wedding and the planning and the ride Mark and I will share. And the future and all it's promise. With pride and a touch of humour I will be hyphenating my name. Part of it is pride to have the name I was born with rolling off my tongue with gusto (versus when I was a kid and it was a cumbersome burden of a big hard Italian name), the other
part is pride to carry the name Mark has carried through his life. We are truly a unique pair, and the name is equally unique - Gasbarino-Knutt.I cannot wait to stand before this wonderful, strong, lovely, great man and exchange vows. I cannot wait to hold his hands in mine and each be the others' focus as we make promises we long to make in front of the people we want to share it with. They won't all be there - Mark fears his loved ones from England will be unable to attend - but we will be there. And after all, in the end it is for us. A fine exclamation point to the end of the introductory chapter in the journey we have taken thus far. It's been hard at times, and so so so easy at times. But always there is this abiding love that floats us through.
And a comforting warm leg entwined with mine at the end of each day.
So I'm ready.
To share the next chapter.
till next time, friends.
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